Beautiful Memories

Thank you to everyone that joined the boys and me to say farewell to Tim this past Wednesday and Thursday. Donnellan Funeral Home put together a lovely video with pictures of Tim from childhood until his death. David Sutton, a local professional photographer, gave us permission to use two of the portraits from our recent photo session for Tim's prayer cards. They turned out just beautifully.

I want to say a particular thank you to the parents from Brendan's Cub Scout Den. The scouts from Brendan's den came together in uniform. Thank you so much for that tribute to Tim. We had visitors from both boys' schools, the Cub Scouts, the Boy Scouts, our church and many, many folks from Northwestern. I am sorry that I couldn't spend more time with each of you.

I am grateful beyond measure to everyone at the Sheil Catholic Center who helped make Thursday such a memorable day. I was completely blown away by the music. Angela Stramaglia and all the musicians that gave of their time and talents contributed to an atmosphere that went beyond good prayer (a Fr. Ken saying) to GREAT prayer. My special thanks to Fr. Tom for accepting the tough assignment of incorporating a remembrance of Tim into his homily. He managed to convey so well the many facets of Tim that made him so special. I also want to thank Teresa Corcoran and all the folks that helped her put together the reception after the service. Thank you for providing us with a time and space to share our memories of Tim as well as food to sustain us while we did so. After all, what is a Sheil event without food?

Most of all, however, I want to thank everyone that came to the funeral. I was so touched to see the chapel filled with all those people. Hearing the chapel resound with music as we began to sing the opening song is a memory that I will cherish forever. While the choir was beautiful, it was the full, active and conscious participation (another Fr. Ken saying) of everyone there that made Tim's funeral a moving celebration of his life. In my dark moments, I simply pull up that image in my mind and the memory of all the love and affection shown on that day comfort me.

Funeral Arrangements

There will be an open-casket visitation Wednesday, June 17, from 3:00pm until 8:00pm at Donnellan Funeral Home, 10045 Skokie Blvd in Skokie. There will be a brief prayer service at the conclusion of visitation lead by Fr. Bob Cary, the downtown Sheil chaplain who visited us often during Tim's final illness.

The funeral will be Thursday, June 18, at 11:00am, at the Sheil Catholic Center, 2110 Sheridan Road in Evanston. Tim's remains are being cremated and will be interred on a later date at a private ceremony. There will be a reception at Sheil following the funeral. Light refreshments will be served. Fr. Tom Franzman will preside assisted by Fr. Ken Simpson.

Information and an on-line guestbook can be viewed at www.donnellanfuneral.com.

Gone to God

Tim passed away a little before 1:00pm this afternoon. It was my great good fortune to be present. Tim and I were both blessed by the presence of our friend, Holly. Bless you, Holly, for being there to share that time with me. I will always be grateful for those moments.

Tim's passing was gentle and easy. He was there one minute and gone the next. This day has been long in coming and the struggle to get here has been hard on both Tim and me. I am glad that God smiled on us and gave us a quiet, peaceful end.

Tim's brother Steven and his sister Joyce and her family have been here since Thursday. It has been wonderful to have their presence here at home with the boys and at the hospital with me. Thank you so much.

Tim is at peace at last, which gives me a great sense of peace as well. This is a time of sorrow for us all, but today is a day of joy for me. Tim has gone to God and I rejoice that he no longer suffers.

Funeral arrangements are pending. They are being handled by Donnellan Family Funeral Home in Skokie, http://www.donnellanfuneral.com/.

Comfort in a Time of Sorrow

Thank you all for the expressions of sympathy that you have either emailed or left as comments or phoned or expressed in person. I am touched by everyone's care and concern. Thanks to everyone who has provided a sympathetic ear or shoulder or distraction as needed.

Tim is as comfortable as we can make him. He has had a number of visitors today. If you would like to come say goodbye, please feel free to do so. I am in and out depending on other obligations, so don't worry about being in the way. Don't come for Tim, come for yourself. He is not aware of anything that is happening.

Saying Goodbye

With great sorrow, I must tell you that Tim will not be with us much longer. He has really declined this week. The doctors all agree that he has steadily gotten worse over the last two weeks and is not going to recover. They have tried everything at their disposal. Unfortunately, it was not to be.

We are gradually removing all medications except those needed to keep Tim comfortable. Because of his continued low platelet count, the doctor does not expect Tim to survive even a week without the supportive care he has been receiving. He has been having trouble breathing today and has been running a fever. I have been told that he could go at any time.

I am in the middle of making the many decisions necessary at such a time. I will let you all know about plans for Tim's final farewell when they are set.

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support during this difficult time.

Jennifer

What Happened Today

I took the boys and my mother downtown today to see Tim. He looked quite a bit worse today. He was running a mild fever and was coughing a little. So they did a blood culture and ordered a chest x-ray. I don't know what the results of those tests were, but it could be that the pneumonia is back or that Tim has developed some other infection. Tim didn't appear to recognize me or the boys today. He was very restless, which in the past has been an indication that he's in pain. When his eyes were open, he just stared at whatever happend to be in his field of view. I am supposed to have another meeting with his doctors this week to discuss our options going forward.

When we got home, Theo took out his ripstick (a fancy skateboard) to go over to a friend's house. He fell off about half way down the block and landed on his ankle and the side of his foot. He said that it hurt quite a bit, although there wasn't a lot of swelling. Just to be on the safe side, I took him in for an x-ray. Theo fractured one of his metatarsals. Lucky for him, it's a minor break. He doesn't require a cast, just an ace bandage for support and a special stiff-soled shoe. He's allowed to walk on it and the doctor said that it should heal pretty quickly. Unfortunately, he will have to miss the rest of baseball and the soccer tournament in two weeks. Life is never dull.

What Happened Last Week

I was able to visit Tim in the hospital last week after my flu symptoms subsided. Tim had a mild case of pneumonia, which they successfully treated with anti-biotics. He also had a blood test come back positive for bacterial infection. All subsequent tests were negative, however, so they believe the one sample was probably contaminated. Tim developed something called BK virus. It's a common virus that doesn't cause any problems unless you are immune compromised. If you are immune compromised, it can be very painful, but it doesn't tend to be life threatening. His mental state did not improve, but the doctors still felt that watchful waiting was the best course.

Lack of anything positive to say was one reason I didn't post anything last week. The other is that we've been extremely busy at home. Thursday night was the PTA picnic, Friday night was the Boy Scout picnic and Cub Scout campfire, Saturday night was the church picnic and Sunday afternoon from noon until 5pm was the end of season soccer festival. Whew. Luckily, my mom flew in last Friday, which made it a lot easier to get everyone where they needed to go.